diaper wars!

First day home with babi snowden:

My first day home with babi snowden and wife was surreal. I kept staring at our daughter – is this real? Wow. I smelled her fresh babi neck and determined, YES, this IS real! I’m excited!

We get home, I walk wife and babi up the steps, guide them in doors, park the jeep and prepare everything. After settling in, our daughter takes her first “poopie“.

bum genius cotton diaperThis first poopie was like black silly puddy, (meconium), and smelled like, well, very not freshūüėČ ¬†They told us to expect this type of poop for about 2 days, but NOTHING can prepare you for this kind of poop…

Without fear, I happily went over to grab my brand new $18 bum genius¬†cotton diaper and put it on our daughter — backwards. Yep, backwards. I practiced on a stuffed bear and thought I had mastered this – no dice! ¬†Clearly translating my practice from stuffed bear to human baby failed.

A couple of hours later it was time to change again except there were a few issues:

1. I did not put it on tight enough so after 2 hours, the thing was on sideways on my daughter.  After all, this child moves like she is a one woman gymnastics team.

2. Because I put it on lose and it turned sideways, poop found its way down her leg. And since it was on her leg – I had meconium being flicked around as she performed the “unhappy baby bicycle kick” as I changed her! Remember that poop is thick, green/black and gummy.

3. Because she came 8 days early, we didn’t have our full set of cotton diapers and so we only had the 2 we purchased to “practice” with. ¬†Having only two cotton diapers, I had to wash the other not in use immediately after I changed her.

First night home:

Every two hours, I was awoken by soft flute music and the nudged again by my wife to get my ass up.  I stumbled around in confusion, half seeing and making a mess of my nicely organized babi shelf!

Each time I changed her, she cried and rightfully so. I mean think about it: I used room temperature wipes, which to a babi feel cold, I fumbled around with the diaper which took too long and I didn’t have things in a practical place to grab quickly. Oh and remember after a change, I had to wash the diaper! ¬†First night was a long, epic fail!

Day two:

Upon the morning light, I woke up to do the diaper change to find that poop found its way outside her diaper again. I’m like WTF?! ¬†My wife comes over, smiles and says, “boo, you have to pull the scrunchy flap OUT around the legs out so its on the OUTSIDE to keep the poopie inside!” ¬†Doh!

After using what seems like 100’s of gallons of water to scrub out the meconium, I decide to take drastic measures and buy disposable diapers until we get though this stage of awesome poop! ¬†It hurt to do this because we didn’t want to contribute to the 82,000 tons of diaper waste per year, but I was¬†losing the battle¬†hereūüôā ¬†Anyway, I also purchased a babi wipe warmer. Every time I wiped her little bottom, she’d clench like she was squatting at an iron man contest – whew this babi is strong!

Night two:
I am locked, loaded and diaper ready! ¬†Disposable diapers are pre opened and stacked, babi wipes are warm, and stuff is close! I was quicker on the draw in waking up and our daughter didn’t cry ONCE!!

Operation “stealth¬†diaper”, completed!

3 thoughts on “diaper wars!

Please use the comments to demonstrate your own ignorance, unfamiliarity with empirical data, ability to repeat discredited memes, and lack of respect for scientific knowledge. Also, be sure to create straw men and argue against things I have neither said nor even implied. Any irrelevancies you can mention will also be appreciated. Lastly, kindly forgo all civility in your discourse . . . you are, after all, anonymous :)

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