love outside the box…

“Taking down” even one of the walls of the box can lead to more empowerment!  I’ve got five steps that are all great action steps, and even outline some clues for how to tell you’re IN the box.  love outside the box

i. Before we can recognize that there are boxes to step out of, we need to figure out that we’re IN a box. It’s ok, take baby steps!  Before you can begin to figure out the exact nature of the walls of your box, you need to really understand that feeling trapped, hopeless, and depressed isn’t “normal” and that everyone has a right to feel OK… even you.  Even when you can’t imagine feeling good, you can usually imagine OK.  Start there.

ii. Give yourself permission to start thinking about feeling better.  Getting down on yourself for not feeling better already is almost invariably counterproductive.  Sometimes, it can take a while before you can tolerate even the thought that it could be better. Give yourself permission to imagine it. Give yourself compassion if you don’t even do that very well at first!

iii. Recognize that empowering yourself can feel very scary.  Before you take any of those steps, give yourself permission to just feel scared. Notice that if you let yourself feel scared, and don’t rush on to imagine what will happen next… that eventually it will pass.  It may take a while, but it will.  You are unlikely to scare yourself to death. So notice that you felt scared, and that you’re still alive. If you’re alive, you can continue to empower yourself. Feeling scared just reminds you that you’re still alive.

iv.  It’s ok to “backslide.” Progress doesn’t have to be linear and direct.  Sometimes it can be in a spiral, or a zig-zag. So don’t give up, even if your tiny baby steps take you in a direction that seems like backwards.  Just keep giving yourself that compassion, and recognizing that there can be a more positive view to take.  Eventually, things will tend in a positive direction more than a negative one, more of the time. And then you’re really moving.

Lastly, the cool thing about the human experience is that right now there are 7,031,380,975 different ways a person can express how THEY want to love and build their family unit(s) and you don’t have to partake in any of them. You posses the create power to create your own, or follow suite.


One thought on “love outside the box…

Please use the comments to demonstrate your own ignorance, unfamiliarity with empirical data, ability to repeat discredited memes, and lack of respect for scientific knowledge. Also, be sure to create straw men and argue against things I have neither said nor even implied. Any irrelevancies you can mention will also be appreciated. Lastly, kindly forgo all civility in your discourse . . . you are, after all, anonymous :)

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