Growing up, my mother and father told me to accept no statement, idea, or situation without questioning it
first. Their lesson was that in doing so, I’d be able to make education deduction, sound conclusions and smart solutions based on the information I received from asking questions. Yup, it’s their fault I’m an analytical paradox!
This invaluable lesson has become the platform for how I operate professionally and personally. To learn, grow and understand, you need to ask questions either of yourself, or of others! This mantra has additionally played a vengeful role in the personal part of my life as it pertains to relationships. I ask questions – and do so in a way that is conversational, fun, and allows one to feel like it’s NOT an interview. From those subtle inquires, I know your favorite color, what makes you unhappy, what
perfume you like, where you dislike shopping and how you really feel about your sibling…
Later on in those developed relationships, I’ll be able to act or call on the things I inquired about long ago – showing you that I did take the time to learn and remember important things about “you”.
Unfortunately, I’ve allowed the way “I” process information to become an imposed expectation for others. Meaning, I feel others should be asking me questions to learn things of and about me just as I do them.
Recently, I’ve found myself in a few situations in which I felt because a person didn’t ask a question of me, what I needed or wanted was unimportant. I then begin to resent the person for seemingly walking about as if they have no concern or desire to know anything beyond themselves especially when it pertains to me!
Paint me green and call me a pickle! I know better than to impose expectations on others, and further know everyone has their own way to get and process information. *I* just need to figure out how to not become frustrated when I feel like, “If this person would take 5 mins and ASK me, they’d know why I feel like X…” Deep down inside, I feel like it sure would be nice if someone took the time and cared enough to ask me a question about me to better understand me.
Blah! This is nothing more than my ego quantifying ones interaction with me against a private “love” scale. This is not fair or acceptable in furtherance o
f becoming zen-like. Time to get over it!
Guess how I intend to do so…? By asking a question! 🙂 Once I understand how the person gets and processes information, I’ll then be able to better communicate my needs to them.
Thanks mom and dad, my problem was also my answer!
- 3 Powerful Questions Spouses Ask Each Other (thepurebed.wordpress.com)
- Do You Ask Good Questions? (allenkleinedeters.wordpress.com)