This weekend while volunteering and playing with the little ones at Bracket Town, enabled me to have an epiphany…
As I was playing with the little ones I inherently took advantage of all of the people in one place and starting what I enjoy most – people watching.
In doing so I found myself in some instances becoming agitated. When I saw a tall man, I would think, “how come I am not taller?”, when I’d see a pretty smiling woman, I’d think, “how come she isn’t smiling at something I did?”
I also found myself agitated b/c the other volunteers I worked with in my section were not organized and families were in long lines. the business side of me wanted to put people in their place and get a system – BUT I couldn’t arrange such a system being that no one had hierarchy.
Now those thoughts are very remedial and are quickly diluted with a dash of logic and quantum perspective however, I was able to deduce that when I compare myself to other men and then start questioning my own physique, its my inherent nature of competitiveness to be bigger, stronger and smarter than them and when (in my eyes) there is a question of that, I get “ansy”.
All of this is ironic for me because I am very focused and stay rooted in quantum ideology but have this huge sense of being number one and the best! When I fall short of that I know its my sign to simply TRY HARDER!!