Honest Love…

Honest love only hurts when stirred within the bowl of denial.

~Dimitri

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11 thoughts on “Honest Love…

  1. I have mulled this over all day and I must agree with you. You can not change what you will not acknowledge. This is a very good motivator to strive to be better and learn from every experience you have.

  2. Some things truly never change….meaning, it is about understanding and honesty with self first (the denial as you put it).

    It isn’t love itself that hurts — honest, real love is amazing! It is the absence of mutual and/or reciprocated love that hurts. Love is a bond between two people that goes beyond logic and reason, one that overwhelms the mind and senses and brings about behavior that may not always seem rational to those not immediately involved. Within that bond, honest love is beautiful and brings joy to each within the parameters set.

    Pain occurs when both parties do not share the same emotions, desires, wants, needs and/or expectations. Either the love isn’t reciprocated at all or not to the level expected or wanted by the other. The denial by one, or both, brings about the hurt.

    Unfortunately the word ‘love’ is lightly used far too often. Social networking, laws, and societal norms around immediate gratification make it far too easy to enter relationships, of any kind,

    Within any relationship involving hurt / pain, perhaps the bond associated with the word ‘love’ is perceived to be far stronger than it actually is. You can ‘love’ a dog, ‘love’ a favorite movie or ‘love’ a favorite sweater. Understanding of the significance of the word and bond implied when used in conjunction with another human can save some, but not all, hurt.

  3. @ Vic, “…the absence of mutual and/or reciprocated love that hurts.”,

    “Pain occurs when both parties do not share the same emotions, desires, wants, needs and/or expectations. Either the love isn’t reciprocated at all or not to the level expected or wanted by the other.”

    Before I jump off the deep end, can you provide another depth of insight or shall I jump from here?

  4. Not sure I’m understanding fully what you’re seeking, but sure, I’ll try….

    I provided some examples, not all, of when denial brings about pain within what is presumed / assumed to be a bond of love. I may honestly love someone but have not been honest in that I haven’t allowed myself to see that their love is not returned. Pain arises when realization is had. One could argue that is not honest love. Overall I would agree, but there are those who go through life in unreciprocated patterns of love / want and/or allowing themselves to be used, accepting whatever scraps may be given to feel a closeness. The foundation must come from within, building self esteem and clarity of self before true honest love can be shared.

  5. @ Dimitri, we are talking LOVE in relationships between people, not necessarily for family or others outside of an intimate relationship? If so, here’s my take…

    I think love hurts when you aren’t able to accept that it isn’t always mutual. If you love someone who doesn’t love you in return, often times your feelings become hurt. But, if you love someone because of your own feelings, without expectation of a mutual affection, you are able to spread your love further, creating a ripple affect, and are ultimately more open to receive love. This is EXTREMELY difficult in the beginning, especially when you desire to share the love with a particular person. However, allowing yourself to love without expectation only leads to deeper rewards in the long run. Your openness to love will prove most fruitful, and the consequences immense beyond your dreams. In my experience, when you allow yourself to truly love, openly love, when that essence becomes mutual, your whole being will recognize it perhaps before YOU do. And you will LOVE every moment…

    In this way, you are also able to recognize when it isn’t love, and it may be something else. Otherwise, you go around assigning false labels…

  6. Also, with the honesty piece: if the love is honest, then you know upfront whether or not it’s for you…

    It’s when we start making excuses, or don’t believe a person when they show us who they are that we only hurt ourselves and the others around us….

  7. Honest love is the best kind of love. Honest love translates to all involved parties having congruent goals–short-term as well as long-term.

    Unfortunately, I know people who have been in honest love, yet stirred with a bowl of denial. This kind of honest love led to horrible consequences, hurt feelings, and people feeling misled, and misunderstood amongst a host of other things and feelings. Honest love stirred with a bowl of denial is best described as the recipe for disaster.

  8. @ Christen Dyane, well said!!

    @ Taj, eh, honest love is honest love no matter who is involved…

    @ Vic, Ok, so I think I got what your saying, understand and agree. What I am not clear on is your reference to unreciprocated love. If its not reciprocated, where is the dishonesty? Out of naivety, it seems that is person A loves me and they show me and I don’t love person A and DON’T show them then its honest – correct?

  9. Yes, honest love is honest love, but it can’t be honest if you refuse to accept that perhaps you honestly love someone who doesn’t love you back. Isn’t that also denial? When you refuse to move on or accept that you may not have who you wanted? To me, that’s dishonesty with yourself… Your own love may be honest, but not the other way around.

    Thoughts?

Please use the comments to demonstrate your own ignorance, unfamiliarity with empirical data, ability to repeat discredited memes, and lack of respect for scientific knowledge. Also, be sure to create straw men and argue against things I have neither said nor even implied. Any irrelevancies you can mention will also be appreciated. Lastly, kindly forgo all civility in your discourse . . . you are, after all, anonymous :)

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