"__conditional Love"

Well I think this is a crock of crap!  What about unconditional love is unconditional?  So far I have only encountered conditional love.  Perhaps this is all my misconception, but it appears that once the “conditions” of the participating party are not met then the love dwindles.  So where in that is the unconditional part?  Or maybe the word “love” is used incorrectly thus resulting in a compromised relationship to begin with!!

Whether we all admit it or not, we all have prerequisites that have to be met before we release the love bomb.  But here is what I want you to observe, those pre req’s have nothing to do with the other person – only you.  They are the things YOU need in exchange for your love.  A few years ago I made a vow to myself that I wouldn’t tell someone I loved them until every letter in the word means something.  I remember when I used to say the word as a pseudonym for the overwhelming amount of good feelings.  I quickly learned that doing so hurts me and the female involved.  So I simply “savor” the word and bestow its use when the honor of the meaning is revealed.

In my recent past I came across a female that incorrectly use that word.  It was almost blasphemy!  But hey I can’t blame her because she had a change of heart right?  I cannot shun her because “I” wasn’t meeting her needs right?  I cannot even get mad at her for not letting me do all that I could have done to better the situation.
Oh well, this is seemingly an issue that I must resolve within myself – my problem with Love and Abandonment and the parallels I draw between them.

Unconditional love of self is the concept of loving yourself regardless of external conditions. This includes not denying yourself/your feelings in favor of others. Ultimately in this action a person will have to move away from others who do not love them without condition or teach them to. This idea could be considered imperative to increasing the amount of love one feels. If a person is looking outside him or herself for love they may never find unconditional love or even enough love to be happy. Unconditional love of self is considered the foundation for unconditional love because of this. Once a person is able to love him or herself without condition they will be able to love others without condition. Some gurus/teachers would describe this as an overflow effect as if the person is overflowing with love or agape. Unconditional love of self is most often used in conjunction with Self-acceptance as a way to bring the self to a place of well-being and self understanding.

So far I think I have arrived at Love being an Ability not an Emotion – looks like I have yet to learn about Unconditional Love myself!


2 thoughts on “"__conditional Love"

  1. In response, I would like to say I beleive that there are phases of a relationship in which people assume to be love. When you first meet someone you lust after them. Apperantly you do not know that much about him/her to really love them. Then the next phase would be infactuation. You are into this person, they are on your mind and you desire them. the last phase is comfort. You have been around this person for an extended period of time and you are used to the way that this peson acts or smells or what ever. As long as you feel that you need the person you will be there. when the need turns into want, then you are going separate ways in life, or you have obtained all that he/she is offering to you. Last thing is when you do even want the person at all. This is how a person can say that they fell out of love with some one.

  2. Unconditional love does exist. It is determined by the lovers level of loyalty.
    I love my son, no matter what. There is nothing he can do that would make me not love him. There are things he can do that would make me disappointed. There are things he can do that would force me to keep him at arms length. But there is no question that I love him unconditionally.
    For me, love is an act. It is proof of how dedicated and loyal you are to someone. Love isn’t an emotion. Love is the work and the effort that you put into maintaining a relationship with someone. Being able to love someone unconditionally means that you have to be willing to accept that person and everything that comes with them. People will hurt our feelings and let us down. People will lie and cheat and steal. But if you have the knowledge that this is always a possibility, then you have the ability to accept what may happen, and not let it be a factor. Love is work. An unconditional love is no exception.

Please use the comments to demonstrate your own ignorance, unfamiliarity with empirical data, ability to repeat discredited memes, and lack of respect for scientific knowledge. Also, be sure to create straw men and argue against things I have neither said nor even implied. Any irrelevancies you can mention will also be appreciated. Lastly, kindly forgo all civility in your discourse . . . you are, after all, anonymous :)

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