Me first, now and forever…

To be successful as a species, the members of that species must have a desire to survive long enough to pass on their genes to offspring. This applies to humans as much as any other animal: humans desire personal survival; seek food, drink, rest, sex; fit into niches; must adapt to changing conditions.

Humans are subject to the same stimuli and reactions as any other animal. Threats, physical, mental or emotional, cause the fight-or-flight syndrome and avoidance behaviors.

In addition to typical biological responses to current threats, human can think. We can consciously perceive and react to stimuli, plan ahead, decide how to respond to threats. Because of this, humans extend the concept of self-preservation beyond personal survival. We live in extremely complex and interdependent societies, where people band together in groups for mutual aid and protection.

We live, learn and succeed on many levels. The first level is the The Level of Natural Survival (food, shelter, clothing etc…). Once you are able to overcome, overstand, and master that level, you can then dictate and live on the creative and artistic level. It is then that we truly experience freedom…

One of my many regressions/imperfections is that I oddly place others before or above (if we assigned hierarchy) myself. Their needs, wants come first – I thought that the feelings of completion and knowing that I was able to gratify someone based on my efforts would make me feel good – no dice.  It has cost me un-recoupable time, pain and heartache.  I have caused myself to sacrifice myself for others (and supposedly for the greater good of the collective) in ways others would never do for me and primarily in a way that’s not good for my health.  Yes, I and I alone take FULL responsibility for being irresponsible for myself.  No matter what my reasoning, it was my decision to execute.  It hard for me to give graduated increments of myself to someone or thing i am dedicated to.  I am kind of all or nothing but yet I constantly run across those that only give me part of them, and save the rest for themselves and rightfully so, but I ask you let me be privy to such so “I” can respond accordingly.

In the end, its 2am and I leave myself with just a worn out tired Duke. No energy or will to to do for me. The EXTREME irony is that the people that “care” about you take advantage of the item they can see is hurting you – ain’t THAT a bitch?!

So if you are one of those individuals that says they “care” about me and that has benefited from MY sacrifice one iota – best believe I will get it back from you.  The person that thinks they are smarter, above, more polished or what have you than others is in the worst position to find out they aren’t.

Well ladies and gentlemen, its “my” turn – I need to reach my creative level of freedom so that I may be an asset to our either current or future relationship; not a burden to it. 

Yea, saying it even feels good, “me first”!


2 thoughts on “Me first, now and forever…

  1. Having a relationship with someone is a momentous task. We are always in a giving mode. I think that as we come into this level of existence we are genuinely selfish. Giving is something that is taught. We are taught to give, we are taught to share but do so sparingly – we have been taught that there are rewards in obtained from those in our existence. They give us tangential items like love, respect, time spent etc, etc. etc. When we start to expect from those in our existence the above things, we get “hurtâ€? in that we have added expectations and wants. A whole new level has opened up. I have learned that as long as I depend on myself and don’t expect anything from the people that I have encountered. My feelings don’t get hurt, my expectations are solely on me, I don’t get upset with my counter parts. It is much easier for me to deal with others on a level wherein I expect little from them or nothing at all. Much easier for me to exist.

  2. “Yes, I and I alone take FULL responsibility for being irresponsible for myself.”

    *That* is such a good sign to me. Once we stop blaiming others and look within the answers are much clearer. Sometimes others take advantage of us and harm us, that is true. However, there are times our inner voice tells us we are in danger or we are in an unfair situation and we allow it in the name of love. It’s usually a self sacrificing scenario which leaves our loving hearts shattered. Like we’ve talked about… not everyone deserves our love and attention. Respect only. I’m very happy for you.

Please use the comments to demonstrate your own ignorance, unfamiliarity with empirical data, ability to repeat discredited memes, and lack of respect for scientific knowledge. Also, be sure to create straw men and argue against things I have neither said nor even implied. Any irrelevancies you can mention will also be appreciated. Lastly, kindly forgo all civility in your discourse . . . you are, after all, anonymous :)

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